No I am not asking for help but I would like to offer some help ! Yeah….. you saw that coming !
So I am well aware not everyone like yours truly is jam packed with oozing confidence even when clueless, but I am slightly perturbed. Lila is an adult , well deserving and honorable or so she think , why would she not, for the love of her , just ask ? Sounds pretty simple right ? It actually is… I think.
I am afraid I have to deliver this tirade but in my defense I am currently racked with a severe slab because I have tarried this subject for a while and I woefully cannot proffer up anything until I do this .
I will make it fundamental , here is what I would conceivably do, it could be done in a better way but cheers to humble beginnings :
Recognize and Acknowledge that you need help and this is only AND ONLY if you have exerted all other prospects and the best option is always start with self.. its not rocket science.
Don´t delay! The longer you wait the harder it gets , get it over and done with.
Choice of words is crucial. If you are asking please ask , if you´re suggesting drop it. We demand if anything to be expressly particular about WHAT YOU WANT!
Plan B. If I may put it this way:“The fanatic emphasis on ‘Plan B’ that professionals talk about is not a coward’s fall-back system. It serves a purpose, a purpose that a strategist has envisioned and planned before the need for an alternate solution surfaces.” ― Andy Paula
So here is the thing and repeat this wonderful decree with me : It ain´t about the money its about the power. Get it ?? You asking for help is a lot but the veritable benefit of genuinely asking is what will come of it !
Please and by all means I plead with you , expect a big fat NO! An here is where my EGO comes into play, is it the end of the world NO! Again – Please refer to number 4. Alot of things happen.
Please scrub off all those pre-conceieved and conjured up notions you have about persona A or B .. its all in your head …. you know your people well, use that to your advantage otherwise , we need to reconsider who persona A or B are ??
It is however immensely important that you understand that by asking, this does not make you weak , or the victim or anything else that has a negative connotation. It has everything to do with them and even more to do with you.
Where I come from, it is very important to remember that we are human and thus imperfect in every fathomable way. If we were to go it alone instead of a being in a world populated with 7.4 billion people. You would be in the garden of Eden , perhaps naked and very naive…
This is something we battle with everyday and I agree it is galling but then again how else would you have it ?
Now to stub the cigarette butt:
“One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on “going it alone.” Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.”
― Brené Brown,