MY 30 DAYS OF WISHING -complete

After a day of wise words and the end of a rather gruesome and very painful relationship, I started a journey I am yet to complete… it has been great I must say and I have learnt to appreciate every if not all single bits of our male brothers. I still have 10 days to go.. This is a journey I must and will complete for myself  if not for anyone else.. I owe this much to myself and as I have come to learn, I am the author of my own destiny and  just  for me I will write down each and every piece of it.First a wish, then prayer and the journey has began ……………..

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who will hold my hand when we cross the street#day1……..It is all lies in the simple acts

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who will above all else recognize and submit to higher power than him#day2

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who is selfless#day3… I had some inspiration on this one 🙂

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who can challenge me #day 4… We can’t be compatible if we cannot build each other……. rather help each other grow……..

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who knows how to speak , who knows how to communicate, a man who understands respect, a man who can express himself a man who knows and understands first who he is, then knows his place in this world #day 5…………

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who can fall in love. A man who knows, who has lived and above all else a man who knows what passion is.. Have you ever watched a man give you a testimony…. or Ben Kiruthi talk about photography.. The passion in Craig David’s songs …….If yes then you know what it means to truly love and not just what you do…..maybe then you know what exactly it means to love someone #day 6…………

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who can take care of me. Simply put from a good friend of mine who shared: A woman’s greatest need is security:

• Physical- Walk her home after a date. If it’s not possible, at least call to find out if she got there safely. If she hears a sound in the middle of the night, she wants you to go see what it is, so don’t crawl back like a baby J, be a man!

• Emotional- She needs to know that you are not out to play with her heart. Give her compliments, tell her you love her often, and make little gestures of affection. Nothing too fancy. Deep down inside, every woman appreciates the simple things. And stop staring at other women!

• Financial- Money isn’t everything, but life can’t run without it either. All she really needs is some stability. Financial Stability is relative depending on your woman’s level of maintenance lol… but you get the idea.

• Social- She needs to be able to walk with her head up high because of her association with you. • Spiritual- If she’s a woman of faith, she needs to know that you are the kind of man she can count on when times get tough and her faith alone cannot carry her through the storm. #day 7…………

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who is honest not just with me and with the world but first and foremost with himself. No one is perfect, no one is expected to be perfect .Simply put love and accept yourself first for who you are then the world will take you for you #day 8…………

Look at me, what do you see? a woman…. yes a woman. I represent your mother, your beloved sister … maybe your daughter. You are born of a woman, cared for by a sister, loved beyond everything by a daughter. If you can look at me and see all this then you would know my worth. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who will respect me wholly and fully for who I am and above everything else for what I signify in his life #day 9

For this one I had to be reminded and yes it was a ghastly sight! My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who understands and knows what good grooming is. I like short well kept nails, manicured yes, well trimmed hair and if its dreadlocks, please see your hairdresser regularly. A man who looks sharp even in shorts and slippers and lastly you’re not allowed to wear closed shoes without socks. Dress to please yourself ,feel good about yourself and make others feel good about you . A person needs to know how to take care of themselves first before they can take care of another person # day 10

Flip- side of the coin, I look at you, what do I see? A man…. yes a man. You represent a father, a beloved brother … maybe my son. In the words of John Wooden,´ the best thing a father can ever do for his children is to love their mother.´ As I girl all I can think of is all the help you get from a brother and as a son it is the care and security provided by a mother that makes you the man that you will be . In the same stride as that of a woman, know your worth, the strength that you signify….   My 30 days of wishing : I want a man who knows his place in this world and is ready and willing to take up his part and play his role  #day11.

Dude: Hey, I was trying to call you?

Eva: I was on another call pole sema?

Dude: Just wanted to hear your voice

Eva: I didn’t say you can’t call back….. (PS: didn’t actually say it in the real sense but………)

I like a man who keeps his word.  More importantly a man who acts instead of speaks. I will call you tomorrow, I will set a date we hook up, I will get you earphones, I will buy you a laptop … all this are promises made or gifts offered. If you’re going to do something simply put, do it.  My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who can keep his word.  This shows above all else that you can be trusted and that you are reliable. Where I come, from a promise is a promise not a debt. No one asked, you offered. #day12.

My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who expects a lot from me.  I am a woman and being the weaker sex, I may not be able to do a lot of things like a man, but I want a man who will hold my hand and show me how it is done and no matter how many times I get it wrong, be patient, gentle but relentless, push until I get it right …now that is support. #day13.

What do you feel when I touch you? What do you want me to feel? Forget what I want. What goes on inside you?  I don’t really feel anything, I guess.  Frowning, he kept touching her face He loved the feel of her smooth skin. When I touch you my whole body comes alive. I feel warmth all through me…… I can’t even describe how wonderful it feels……… (Excerpt from redeeming love) In the book of songs of Solomon it is written a man and a woman´s passion is intended to be mutual. A shared blessing. Your dream becomes mine, so do your thoughts and all that is you and vice versa .My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who needs me just as much as I need him. #day14.

Where I come from and as spoilt as this is going to sound, I don’t make my own bed, wash, iron or fold clothes nor cook. It’s only because my sister is bossier than me, but if she wasn’t I would definitely be in the mix. Doing such things for someone takes a lot of love and care and even done in the simplest way, it only means that someone cares and no it’s not your right. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who knows how to say thank you and actually means it. #day15.

 

My all time favourite quote and it was right in front of me all this time: “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.” ― Josh Billings. It is a simple concept the end goal. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who knows what commitment means, they do say for better or for worse. #day16.

I started this journey with one simple wish, I want a man who will hold my hand when we cross the street#day1……..It is all lies in the simple acts. But further along the line, I have come to learn and appreciate more and more simple acts such as this. Yes, am stuck in my dreamy head but they remain for now just that dreams. You see for someone to repeatedly do such a simple act doesn’t only take them doing it well, but repeatedly and consistently………. My 30 days of wishing: I wants a man who is not only a gentleman in manner but a gentleman at heart #day17.

Faith means:

a)      allegiance to duty or a person

b)       1b)fidelity to one’s promises (2b) sincerity of intentions c ) belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2c) and or  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion d )  firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2d) complete trust 2e) something that is believed especially with strong conviction.

One day all villagers of a certain village decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all villagers gathered around but only one boy came with an umbrella……………… Simply put that is faith and the great thing about this is if you have faith in God you are halfway there. The 2 can never be separate. My 30 days of wishing: I want a faithful man. #day18.

Where I come from, I attach a lot of meaning to words, spoken or written. Aside from the fact that people say a lot of things they don’t mean, I hold most people by their word….. Call it benefit of doubt… I guess this is part of the reason why I fell in love with books and spoken word. Yesterday after having a talk with one of our trainers, 30 minutes later he made a short conclusion about me that I am an expressive personality. Over the weekend as well, I had the pleasure of sitting down and having a real conversation with a guy (yes) up to 2 am I think…..I like talking , I like talking things out and yes having lots and lots of conversations. You see part of this isn’t just the indulgence but listening out for what people don’t say…… and you know what it felt good. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man; I can have a conversation with. ‪#‎day19.

 

 A good man just like fine wine is neither expensive nor old. Ever wondered why a young girl would marry an old man? I do often, and it has always been a matter of age, maturity and the sense of worth/belonging and direction amongst all other things that comes with such a man. Someone who has found his place. Age again comes with experience and in as much we often say you don’t need a man to solve your problems, you need him to just sit and listen, I too want a man who can give me guidance. Someone who notices when something is off and someone who will give you the reality check that you so desperately need and  cannot give  yourself and for someone to be able to do all this they need one  thing- experience….So while  all this while I will not marry my grandfather nor my father and definitely not my nephew….. My 30 days of wishing: I want an older man, not just in age but in wisdom and experience.. ‪#‎day20.

My ideal man will not be afraid to tell me when I am wrong, will not be afraid to sit back and watch me make my own mistakes and later on correct me. My ideal man will not shy away from reasoning with me even when the last thing I want to hear is the truth. I am strong headed, sometimes very opinionated, confrontational and I lose my temper very easily, patience is a virtue I am yet to acquire and what makes it worse is my relentless need to be heard. Funny thing, the only 2 people who have learnt to deal with me are my twin sister and my late mother. Sometimes I think my friends tolerate me but oh well ….This has taken my family  a lot of time to master but the one thing I always appreciate from them is ,they will tell me the truth no matter what. Thank you Msuper for this inspiring thought :  My 30 days of wishing : I want a man who is not afraid to fight with me because I am sure he cares so much about me that he would not hurt me, at least not intentionally!#day21

I refuse to date a man who does not read. Why? You ask, simply because my introduction of me will be my 30 days of wishing! For the better part I have noticed, that my list keep getting longer and longer and you can take a wild guess who is going to be reading my wish list. Secondly, small talk is much better with an overrated IQ and an extremely imaginative if not creative mind and I am not talking about pick up lines, try smart retorts and justified arguments. Ever noticed how the IQ of a conversation is raised just by having that one person who actually knows what it is they are talking about? Last but not least, I like ideas, I like thoughts, I like words…. there is something about reading that brings to life what the normal eye would more or less overlook …. Provokes a far much interactive mind and thoughts far beyond normal. For you to be it, you will definitely have to be rich in such and part of my favorite pastimes is sitting together and reading. In the spirit of being a reader it’s that simple……. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who reads, I want a man who seeks knowledge, a man who enjoys reading. For the better part, I want a thoughtful man #day22

I am not exactly the mushy type and PDA is definitely not my thing but in light of what I want in a man and will have to do , I want a man who gives me a peck on the cheek in the form of a greeting( yes, every time we meet) maybe a bow and a short kiss on my hand , a man who will reach over as we are seated together and simply grasp my hand just to let me know he is there or to re assure me that all is well. I like the usual surprise hugs just because it’s a new day and he thought it would make me feel great. A kiss on the forehead is a definite win. In the words of one of my favorite authors his tenderness is the only way he can express his physical attraction to you. His ongoing affection will also reaffirm all the praise he heaps on you. My 30 days of wishing: I want an affectionate man#day23

I agree ,I am not the easiest person to deal with , I set my standards high, I don’t in most cases entertain a lot in terms of behavior or habits. I am who I am and I will never try to be something else. In the words of Sarah Jakes they won’t always understand why you have to be so “much.” They will tell you it’s because you think you’re better than they are. But a midst all this I am not perfect and I refuse to tear myself apart because of this. I will make mistakes, misjudgments and in most cases I will falter and change my mind at the same time too but what I ask of you if not anything else is a forgiving heart. “Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim–letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.” ― C.R. Strahan. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man with a forgiving heart.#day24

Finally figured out in part the reason for my lack of inspiration…I am tired of the half baked stories on you and your friends instead of you and your thoughts, the mind games and the marathon sms sessions, the fact that I am the initiator, the inbox confirmations and smart ass comments in conversation on my wishes, the edited versions and accidental confessions. The broken promises and futile words. The dormant dreams and the distractions better yet the lack of introduction because your friends will say she is a big girl. In the words of Plato: We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark, the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of light. You are who you are and for that I owe you respect. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who is unafraid #day25

Listening is an integral part of communication and over and above everything else it is a skill and a lesson to be learnt. I took time out the last 2 months for the sole purpose of visiting my very close friends and basically catching up with them and the one thing about all my friends, despite all my rants and raves and craziness, the one thing they have always done is listen. They are the same people who get all the inconsequential details to my day to day living and will always do a follow up even if they had no clue what I was on about , they will ask and understand and sometimes empathize with me or argue, but bottom line they listen. This in turn leads to a very deep understanding of each other rather us. In the spirit of looking for a man, I am not only looking for a lover but as well a friend and a companion. If I do the same for my friends, I am yet to find out but,E. E.  Cummings said : We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” and even better Former Mayor, HAMAS Party said: If you can see me and hear me, and I can see you and hear you, this is one of the starting points. We need to allow ourselves to truly see each other…” My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who listens. #day26

Come Friday night, you and I are meant to have a date and 2 and half hours later, you claim you are in town looking for parking space and I am sitted in a cafe still waiting for you. I ask to come to where you are and you suggest, I get into another cafe and give you more time. Typical Eva reaction, I go home after 2 and a half hour of waiting and this is after I switch off my phone. Later on, I receive a text message from you, harsh I might add and I apologize for switching off my phone at the least, you go silent. I check up on you, you respond with one line, ´I am okay´……….. If there is one quality I strive and struggle to have its meekness and grace and for the better part, I am well on my way there. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who is humble and a man who can admit that he is wrong. #day27

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are Proverbs 13:20. Being as blessed as I am, I have had the pleasure of meeting friends of /to my male friends and for the better part, I think their good people, people who you can sit with and talk about life, trials and experiences, people who you can talk about opportunity with, test each other’s intelligence, but more so people who can vouch for you and for themselves. Bible verse and this one is definitely borrowed, but I learned the lesson: “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15.Friendship over and above everything else isn’t just for companionship; it’s about seeking counsel and wisdom not just from your age mates but from people who are older than you, people who have been there before. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who seeks counsel and mentorship. #day28

Listening  to conversations around me and the type of comments that come mainly from our male counterparts and am not just picking on you but I have come more and more to appreciate people both male and female who actually think before they speak. For my brothers a man who doesn’t play out gender roles and define what should or shouldn´t be, a man who doesn´t stereotype, a man who lays off the sexist jokes, a man who will raise his daughter to be a feminist, a man who believes and fights for the equal rights of women and lastly a man who does not define me by my role in society. They say: always put yourselves in someone else’s shoes and if you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too…My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who is a feminist. #day29

Last but not least and this was inspired my very good friend in pen and paper and words: Kuria Hellen Kuria:

Date a man who prays, A man who will not be ashamed to tell you ‘baby wait’, just when you’re about to take a bite off that meal, He will not be ashamed to lead in prayers, One who, every morning will remind you to give thanks for yet another sunrise, He will sit at your bedside as you’re deep asleep to thank God for you.

It is not just enough to have a relationship with the maker. You, we and us have to be one in him. My 30 days of wishing: I want a man who prays. #day30 

and so the story goes, it is true what they say , you don´t know whatImage

 

 

you have until you lose it , but it is also true that you do not know what you have been missing until it arrives and so goes the story.. I will keep you posted as we move along …..photo courtesy of http://loveaddictionforum.proboards.com/thread/13190

Last but not least my guiding song, I listen to this song alot and whoever I will choose may this be for him :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7hyftAGPuA

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13 thoughts on “MY 30 DAYS OF WISHING -complete

  1. I have enjoyed this post so very much and I feel you on two points especially- he should be able to communicate and ” while I will not marry my grandfather nor my father and definitely not my nephew….. I want an older man, not just in age but in wisdom and experience.” Great post 🙂

    • Thank you Stella that is really encouraging to read.. It has been a journey and I am almost done , I now have 2 days to go and once I have them done , I will complete the list and share as well…..If you have any ideas on what you think I have left out I am all ears and eyes do share ….

  2. You are truly gifted. Wherever he is, when you find him, tell him we would like to read his 30 days of wishing…..I wonder what his reflections are.

    • Thank you Faith and I hope too that he will have a list as long as mine.. I know I will have a guiding prayer for each day with this…………..

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