So as always I have been thinking a lot . Do we ever really question what we do or say and especially in face of other people ?
A few months ago, I was invited to a house party which I unfortunately could not attend as I had another commitment and I recently got to hear how the party went and it got me thinking.
So my friends are a newly weds and they had moved to a new neighbour hood and were hosting their friends for a house warming. Just like all the other Guests I got a text invitation. So it turns out on the day of the house warming the couple had a bit of drama going on because the dude had invited everyone and by everyone I mean even his exes. So the person sharing the story was like he did not understand why the lady of the house made such a big issue about it and the said exe´s were treating her well and talking to her politely.
I would like to ask a question, how many people are willing or would be willing to be reminded of just how many people your other half, man or woman, have had in their lives? In this day and age, sex is usually a big factor so in my words to be reminded of everything else he /she has slept with? We all have a past I agree but where I come from the past is just that, the past … one may be willing to remind oneself of it but not the other party especially if you have ever had to battle with infidelity. I can assure you its more unnerving than it is comforting. The male species in most cases never has a problem pulling such stunts but for women this is definitely walking on eggshells and if you do know your woman then you would definitely know how deep the hole that you are digging for yourself is….
So Saturday once again we all gathered sat talking, drinking and having a good time and we started the conversation again about how this lady does not even want to hear the mention of a certain dudes name because in her mind she has it made up that he is the one misleading her husband and keeping him out of the house till 4:00am in the morning. I get where she is coming from. Women do come up with a lot of ideas on what a married man could be doing out late at night drinking and with all the stories we have to listen to, I doubt any thing would put such a woman at ease. All in all the accused devil as I may call him has already made up his mind as well that probably this dude was forced or pressured into marriage and is probably just looking for an excuse to have fun.
So I looked at both of them happy that Thursday had been such fun and they had both out drunk themselves and at that moment as the accused devil was sharing his hypothesis off course, in the absence of the dude I asked him ´have you ever told him to go home to his wife or at least try to make it early ? ´ and the devil goes like ´ its not my place and why should I tell him.. ´ mmhhhh!
And this is the part where I began thinking.. How many people seated in a crowd of five or so with maybe 1 or 2 or 3 or all of you in full knowledge of all the underlying factors are willing to voice the truth?
Further to this, I thought to myself we are all buddies not friends , all couples off course but if either of you happened to have a fall out with their partner and ended up bringing, ( in most cases the male bringing another female to the ´couples table ´) How many people would be willing to question the male ? How many people both male and female would be willing to find out from the other partner just what happened. And I don´t mean you go telling the other party that you saw their partner with someone else but to actually help them resolve the issues. You see maybe, out of the fallen out couple , it is not the male with the problem but the female . Would you a guy approach your friends partner female and give them an indication of what the matter is or tell them better yet where they are going wrong ?
My humble opinion: I find it extremely disconcerting more so downright uncomfortable to sit down at a table and act like everything is okay. I can´t and I won´t ! And in most cases I always either end up concentrating on my phone or the music . Sure we will talk and we will laugh but I have a word for this and it is called hypocrisy …..
I have never been one to pretend neither have I ever been one to keep my mouth shut . If and when I feel something needs to be said I say it in most cases not in the best way because as most people will tell you temper isn ´t one of my strongest suites but yeah having been branded a bitch by most of my chama members for cursing them out or calling them out and more so my family for not entertaining them … I say things as they are …
So back to my point its simple, if your going to dig a hole then you had better know just how deep you want that hole. You should also know what stirs up the other party and in as much as you might want to convince yourself that people mature or change or whatever transformation thing you would like to call, think before you act and rely on the truth that is … evidence is always there …..
How many of us are willing play the part and say what no one wants to hear ? I am , are you ?