Time and time again , I found myself always having to step up to the plate, always the one to be the bigger person and time and time again I kept repeating to us we are in this together. I tried to play the part never missed a line. I had it all figured out , I signed up for this so I had to put in my share.
Come to think of it the warning signs were there. I was the bigger person , the one with the head screwed on right the one who knew exactly what she wanted. To love and to be loved are greatest gift in existence or so they say. It was echoed severally over a duration of time and each time it was repeated I felt more and more unsure with each passing day.
I hid all my feelings , picked my self up every time I fell , gathered strength where it was needed, apologized if need was but no, we should just be friends . Really? I said.
This was my investment, this was my time … No one does this unless you don’t have a plan . I know I do, and for that reason alone yes it was my investment and even better my time. “So how long will this friendship last?” I ask, “you see that´s your problem you always have to plan things, your things always have to be a certain way for you….”
Sigh… you know what I have better things to do and better yet still have a lot of time …my time….