Learning how to say no!

One foot infront of the other

In the words of Bill Watterson :The problem with people is that they’re only human.

I have noticed of late that I keep asking myself  is this really necessary  and every time this question has popped up , I have found that within me I have this stirring feeling that I am indeed investing more than I should in that particular situation . This has in-turn triggered a reaction that at some point I had assumed was easy but I am now learning that saying no isn’t as easy as I had thought .  This is also in part the realization that aside from one friend  all my other friends don’t even know where I live . I blame myself for this  in part because I am never at home and on the other hand that I have made it to easy for them to find me . Let us meet anywhere  else except Eva´s place , she lives too far . I squirm at how many times I have heard that phrase .

So to remedy all this I have come up with a list :

1. To settle old scores and to clear all debt . Its this simple, if I owe , I will play my part and pay up after that I am off the hook….

2. To update my contact list every 3 months , if I haven’t spoken to you in the last 3 months your out of my phone book , no more convenient numbers 

3. No more checking up on people , no more complaining you haven’t called .. call me first  and I will pay it back or forward . I realized that most people are to pre- occupied with their lives ,so why am I struggling to be part of all that.

4.No more random dates , if its not pre-arranged  then its not worth my time  and 1 week is short notice . I choose to live like a German … Ask me what I will be doing next year, same time , I will most likely have an answer for you. 

5. If you have never visited my home and if you haven´t been there in a while either no more home visits , I know I live far , but if I am worth it then the distance shouldn´t matter.

6. I already have alot of people around me most of whom are need based  rather than  want based .. with all that crowd milling around , I need to stop trying to get more people in my space . In  the words of a great friend of mine ,  I have now gotten to an age where I no longer need friends, the ones I have are enough and if I lose a few more it wont be the end.